“Grief is praise, because it is the natural way love honors what it misses.”

Martín Prechtel’s quote above from his beautiful book The Smell of Rain on Dust, reminds us how connected grief and love really are. Grief can feel so big, so overwhelming, and it is hard to know what to do. We have been raised in a culture that desires productivity and outcomes and then grief knocks us down and we try so hard to just get up and move forward. It can be scary and foreign to pause, honor and transform our grief. How often do we just find ways to run from it? Numb out from it? Shame ourselves away from it? Or try to force it to change? What if we turn towards it? Validate and understand it? Praise it? Love it? Express it? Find healing in it? So many people believe it will just swallow us whole never to be found. So many people don’t trust that it is safe to be with our grief. It is not our enemy. To grieve is a form of love.

Karine Bell says, “Grief is the great composter. It makes way for new life.” So how do we grieve? What allows us to transmute and transform our pain? 

Grief comes in many forms: the loss of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the loss of our identity, the losses of our world and environment, and so much more. So often grief is only talked about when someone dies, but any time we go through change there can be grief. To grieve is a form of love. To create space and ritual for our grief allows not only for healing, but also for an expansion and transformation in our capacity to live, love, and grow more fully.

Grief needs our attention. Grief needs to move. If we don’t find ways to grieve, it is like having a wound that never heals. It will harden us, and make us live in fear. Ritual can transmute and transform our grief. 

According to Weller, “ritual is any gesture done with emotion and intention by an individual or a group that attempts to connect the individual or the community with transpersonal energies for the purpose of healing and transformation.”

Even scientific research has proven that rituals help alleviate grief. It is why we have funerals and celebrations of life. And there many more opportunities to bring in ritual into our grief process. And what if we could create a ritual that was specific to our struggles and could support us exactly how we need to be held?

Through intention and structure, you can find the space to hold and transmute your grief. It can bring form and order to the amorphous nature of grief. It can give you something to do with your pain, suffering, and confusion. It can help invite in what you resist, deny or have forgotten. It can offer safe expression of all emotions. It can let you connect to the sacred. It can support you in surrendering to something bigger than yourself that can hold you. It can offer you a way to find a broader perspective. It can grant you access to gifts that you might not have known are possible. It can open you up to find meaning, purpose, and pleasure in life.

It feels important to name that grief rituals are not a quick fix for grief. Grief has no timeline or a concrete set of answers and solutions. In a desire for control, this can be hard to hear. And grief rituals can be powerful and significant on your journey.

Why Grief Rituals?

How to Create Your Own Grief Ritual?

There are so many ways to create grief rituals. You can create simple daily rituals like lighting a candle and saying your intention and expressing a message. Or you can do larger and more expansive ritual that offers more space to express and move the grief. This is where your intention comes into play. It is helpful to know your why when deciding the structure of your ritual. Please watch this video for more ideas. You can also download this pdf with specifics and considerations for creating your own grief ritual.

How I can support you in creating a grief ritual:

  • Option 1: Support In Creating Ritual

    If you are curious what ways grief rituals can be incorporated into your life either as a daily/weekly practice or a larger one time ritual, this is the option for you. We will start with a free consultation call to see if it feels like a good fit. From there, we would schedule 1.5 hr meeting where you can share more about your grief story and we will brainstorm together about your intentions for creating a grief ritual(s) and ways you can support your grief journey. You can also schedule as needed support if it would be helpful to connect along the way.

    INCLUDES:
    Free 20 minute free consultation call
    1.5 hour brainstorm session to support creating grief rituals

    Additional hours needed will be charged at a cost of $130/hr

    COST: $195

  • Option 2: Preparation and Integration

    If you are feeling stuck in your grief, if there is a question you are struggling to find the answer to, if you are wanting to let something go that feels sticky, or you feel called to do a more expansive grief ritual, and you know you want to do it alone or with people you know and love, this would be the right option for you. First we would start with a free consultation call to see if it feels like a good fit. From there I would offer support in how to create your grief ritual, steps you would need to take in preparation, help you with any resistance or barriers to doing the ritual, and then integrate the experience afterwards.

    INCLUDES:
    Free 20 minute free consultation call
    1.5 hour session for beginning to plan your grief ritual
    1 hour session the week of your grief ritual to see what additional support you need
    1 hour to integrate the experience

    Additional hours needed will be charged at a cost $130/hr

    COST $455

  • Option 3: Preparation, Holding Space for the Grief Ritual, and Integration

    If you are feeling stuck in your grief, if there is a question you are struggling to find the answer to, if you are wanting to let something go that feels sticky, or you feel called to do a more expansive grief ritual, and you know it would be helpful to have someone present for the experience, this would be the right option for you. Sometimes we are able to go deeper into our grief when someone is there to hold space, encourage expression, to feel witnessed, and make sure you feel safe in your process. Also as a grief ritual facilitator, I can offer unique embodied experiences that will help you to go deeper and support you when resistance arises. First, we would start with a free consultation call to see if it feels like a good fit. From there I would offer support in how to create your grief ritual, steps you would need to take in preparation, help you with any resistance or barriers to doing the ritual, be present and support during ritual, and then integrate the experience afterwards.

    INCLUDES:

    Free 20 minute phone consultation
    1.5 hour session for beginning to plan your grief ritual
    1 hour session the week of your grief ritual to see what additional support you need
    2-3 hours for your grief ritual (if travel is needed this will be added on to the cost)
    Up to 2 hour session to integrate the ritual

    Additional hours needed will be charged at a cost of $130/hr

    COST $975

SCHEDULE A CONSULTATION

“The grief ritual with Danielle was TRANSFORMATIVE. For me it was a bit scary imagining diving that deep into grief but I actually found the experience to be quite freeing and so full of love. Working with Danielle, I immediately felt the depth of her therapeutic experience, her vast capacity to hold space, and deep compassion for all the ways grief shows up in our lives. Thank you for creating the space, Danielle!”

One Person’s Experience

If there is a loss that is impacting your community or if you are desiring more of a community grief ritual please reach out for support. I also offer free drop-in grief groups and retreats throughout the year.